I’ve been writing and sharing about my journey and the ups and downs for the past few years and although it’s a tad bit easier to hit the post button than it was the first time, I still can feel tremendous amounts of fear come up. When I share writing that offers a glimpse into my heart, I feel extremely vulnerable. I feel exposed. And I guess I feel seen which is simultaneously a desire and fear that I have.
I believe we all want to be seen fully as the imperfect and messy creations we are. But on the other hand, I want to hide. I want to pull the covers over my head and not allow the world to see me. But I know I’ve signed up for a different journey here on earth. One where I dive deep and explore and shed the many layers of wounds, beliefs, pains and fears that keep me stuck and hidden. This work is messy and I’m realizing more and more that there isn’t an arrival. There is no “oh I made it or I’ve finally arrived.”
Most likely I will always have a nervous feeling in my stomach when I share something that matters to me. And that may never go away. But I’m not doing the work for that feeling to go away. I’m doing it because I’m called to do it. And sometimes that’s my only reason for showing up. Not because what I’m offering is different or exceptional or extraordinary, but because what I’m offering is mine. And that’s good enough.