I am full of excuses when it comes to showing up for my work. I didn’t sleep well. I’m too tired. I’m too busy. My schedule is too full. I just don’t feel like it. I have to tidy up first. I’m hungry. I’m distracted. I don’t feel inspired. And the list of excuses continues…..
I had a session with my coach yesterday and she said something to me that really hit home….”anything beautiful takes hard work.” And if I look at my life, I can see this is true.
Relationships require hard work…showing up vulnerably, masks removed and walls down to deeply connect, making time for the people I care about even when I feel like there’s a list of things to do, and having those difficult and slightly awkward conversations.
Heath requires hard work….I’m not always in the mood to exercise, but I do (unless I’m getting a strong “no” from my body). I don’t always feel like going to the market to pick out fresh veggies and fruit for the week, but I do. I have a million and one reasons not to cook and just get “take away”, promising myself that next week I will start cooking again. But instead, I show up and cook.
”I can see that anything that truly matters to me requires a commitment to myself to show up fully, not perfectly, but fully, even when I’m full of reasons not to.”
This is hard for me, because I have perfectionist tendencies and want to show up ONLY when I can do it perfectly. Only when I feel like it. Only when I feel rested and inspired. Only when I feel creative and have ideas flowing through me. Only when I have the perfect playlist to listen to while creating (okay, maybe I’m not that bad, but I’m pretty close). Only when I know the outcome is something I can be proud of. Only when I can be reassured that my work is good enough. But all of these things rarely happen, and if I keep waiting and only showing up when it does, then I know the work I want to put out into the world isn’t going to happen. And what a shame that would be.
So I’m working on showing up, knowing that it’s not about the outcome but more about making that commitment to myself, creating space for it in my life and actually sticking with it.