Most of the time we view anxiety as negative and something we need to get rid of, but just like all emotions, it is present to give you information.
Many times I see people experiencing anxiety in their relationships. Let’s say you are beginning to date someone or maybe you are already in a relationship, but it seems like your nervous system won’t relax….it feels like something is “off” but you can’t quite pinpoint what’s wrong. Your body is speaking to you, and often we ignore, justify or make excuses for these messages. We may even say that we are being “crazy” or “dramatic” or “irrational.” When we deny these messages, we deny our truth and the wisdom we carry in our body.
Instead, we can learn to get super curious about the emotion and see what’s going on underneath it. Most likely there is a reason you can’t relax with this person or you aren’t feeling safe with them. Often for reasons our mind doesn’t see (or doesn’t want to see), but our heart knows….deep down we always know the truth.
Feeling safe and calm (drama-free doesn’t have to be boring) in your relationships is crucial if you are striving for a healthy and long-term connection where you are being supported and loved. And when your nervous system can’t seem to relax and you aren’t feeling safe, you can start asking yourself if there are behaviors you are putting up with, what needs are not being met, what does this feeling remind you of, and where can you have firmer boundaries.